


Awkward Questions Get Awkward Answers

by anemic_cinema



Series: May Masturbation Challenge [9]
Category: Insidious (Movies)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Never Have I Ever, reference to masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 03:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1589519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boredom leads Specs to find out something he wishes he didn't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Awkward Questions Get Awkward Answers

“How much longer to we have to stay here?” Tucker grumbled. 

“Elise wanted us to monitor the house overnight.” Specs didn't even bother looking up from his notes. The family they were checking on was convinced their house was haunted, but so far they'd found no evidence. Which is why they were supposed to go there before Elise. To weed out the real cases from the fake ones. Or as Tucker said, “The wackos from the ones with real problems.” Specs didn't care for how blunt his partner was. It gave a less than professional impression. 

They'd set up their equipment in the living room of the split-level ranch home. Apparently the weird stuff happened at night. Typical. The first few hours were beyond dull, but Specs tried to be diligent with checking his equipment checks. They'd set up cameras all over the house, but at this rate they were more likely to snap photographs of the family who lived there as they got up to go to the bathroom. 

Around midnight, Specs was done with being a good worker. This whole thing was a bust, but they had to keep around to get evidence that it was. Tucker was dozing on the couch, much to his partner's frustration. 

“Tucker.” Specs poked his leg, and the bearded man woke up with a start. “You can't sleep on the job for crying out loud.”

“It's not my fault that this is boring as hell. Jesus.” Tucker sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“You're right on that one. This one's going to be a total waste of time.” He tried to say it quietly. It might have been a waste of time but he didn't want to risk their hosts overhearing them.

Tucker chuckled. “What's so funny?” Specs adjusted his glasses and sat down on the floor across from him.

“You're usually so willing to believe everyone who comes to us. It's just funny hearing you be skeptical for once.”

“I am not willing to believe everyone who comes to us! How long have we been working together Tucker?” 

“Too long.” Tucker dug around his pocket and pulled out an already opened bag of Reese's Pieces. He shook a few out into the palm of his hand.

Specs glared at him. He could be such an asshole.“It's been two years. Two years, and I swear you haven't even tried to get to know me.” 

“I know all I need to know.” Tucker tossed back some candies into his maw. 

“Gimme some.” Specs reached over and his partner smacked his hand away. “Come on man!”

“Nope. I'm almost out.” Tucker chewed on the candies and swallowed them down. “Tell you what, let's play 'never have I ever,' and if you win, you can have the rest of the bag.”

“Fine.” Specs was bored enough to play along with Tucker's weird little power trip. “I'll start.” He held up his right hand, and Tucker followed suit. “Never have I ever been to jail.” 

He figured that was a pretty outrageous one, but Tucker put down one of his fingers. “Drunk tank. Turns out eight shots of tequila is too much and really makes you not afraid of cops.”

Specs wondered if this was such a smart idea after all. “Ok...your turn.”

“Never have I ever watched more than one episode of Star Trek.” 

Specs tucked his thumb to his palm. “I knew it, you are such a nerd.” Tucker laughed.

“Says the man who can play videogames all day long.” Specs sighed.

“Hey 'Call Of Duty' isn't nerdy, it's badass.” 

“Whatever. Never have I ever had sex in public.” Neither of them put any fingers down.

Tucker asked the next question. “Never have I ever shoplifted.” Specs looked embarrassed and put a finger down.

“You're kidding? What did you shoplift?” The bearded man was curious now. Specs looked so straight-laced he couldn't imagine him doing anything illegal.

“I was thirteen and it was a book about the history of hauntings in America. My folks wouldn't buy it for me.” 

“That is so nerdy.” 

“Whatever. Never have I ever masturbated somewhere other than my apartment.” 

Specs just about choked on his spit when Tucker put his finger down. “What, what the hell? Where did you do that?”

“I don't wanna talk about it.” The bearded man tossed his bag of candy at his partner. “I'm done with this, you can have them.”

“Was it after the eight shots of tequila?” Specs picked out a candy from the bag and popped it in his mouth.

“No.” Tucker got up and went to check on one of the measurement tools.

“C'mon you just can't put something like that out there and not tell me more.”

“Fine.” Tucker sighed. “It was last month. In the van.” 

Specs choked for real this time, a shard of candy coating lodging itself in the wrong tube and making him cough. He tried to keep quiet as to not rouse their hosts, but that just made it feel worse. 

“I cannot believe you.” He wheezed out. “In the van? That's disgusting. I work there too!”

“I was bored ok. Jesus, you know how it gets on the job.” Tucker pushed back a section of his floppy, orangey hair. 

“Yeah, but I've never jacked off in the damn van!” Specs was considering how much it would cost in time and money to get all the equipment out of it and get it detailed and sanitized when a flurry of clicks set off in the hallways leading away from the living room. They both looked in the video monitor they had set up. No one was in the hallway, but the decorative table that was set against the wall in it was slowly moving away from the camera. 

“Looks like this one's real after all.” Specs muttered. 

**

The van looked different now that Specs knew what had transpired in it. And he wasn't about to let it go.

“Tucker, I don't comment about your habits-” the bearded man snorted as he drove them back to Elise's house to report their findings to her. “What?”

“You're always on my ass Specs. I swear it's your favorite thing to do.” 

“I am not, don't change the subject. What I'm trying to say is don't ever do that again.” Specs leaned back against the seat, rubbing his brow. The lack of sleep and his anger with his partner were making him feel exhausted. 

“You're the one who was asking all the sex questions.” Tucker grumbled as he switched radio stations, trying to avoid the Nickleback song that had just come on.

“Whatever.” Specs looked out the window. His partner was right though. He had no idea why he'd asked those sex-related questions. He'd really left himself open to knowing some pretty awkward things. 

Tucker turned on the radio, happy that Specs hadn't asked any specifics about why he'd masturbated in the van. No way he was going to tell him it had been because Specs had been wearing form-fitting pants, and seeing him bent over in them had made him pop a fierce boner. The choice had been between hiding it, or relieving it. Not his finest moment, but he'd been desperate. Hopefully, Specs would forget all about it.


End file.
